I h-a-t-e going to the d-e-n-t-i-s-t. (I've gotten into the habit of spelling it out because while I wouldn't blame her for disliking the dentist, I don't really want Mols to h-a-t-e it until she has good reason to).
As you may have guessed I went to the dentist today. It was d-r-e-a-d-f-u-l. In the 3+ hours I was sitting in the chair I heard the following words tossed about in casual conversation: "salami", "boobies", and "horse meat". Interesting, right? I'm glad the butchers were having a fun time because I was not.
Here are some of the words and phrases I heard tossed about in reference to my mouth: "won't numb her more until she needs it", (then seconds later upon seeing my nails digging into my arm flesh) "let's give her some more anesthesia", "bleeding", "hemorrhaging", and the cryptic "I don't care what we use as long as it stops the bleeding". Next time I'm in that kind of discomfort, paying that kind of money? I better have a new baby at the end of it all.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
One Glamorous Mommy!
I don't know about you guys, but my days are not full of the glamor I once expected to have by the time I reached thirty. one. If I go a day without getting somebody else's body waste on me, it's my equivalent of a day at the spa. So when I'm jonesing for a some flashing lights or celebrity snazz, I've got just the blog for the job: Motherhood to Hollywood.
Sara is a celebrity news blogger with two boys, so she runs the show at home and then what?! Gets to travel to press junkets, meet big stars and blog about it!! Talk about your dream job, right? Motherhood to Hollywood is her personal blog about her day-to-day life with the occasional giant, big-screen name dropped in (or photo! When you swing by, be sure to check out her "Famous Photos" page. So cool). It's a funny blog and always interesting.
Having her as a bloggy friend has made me feel a little famous, I'm not going to lie. I mean, yes, my new nephew-dog WAS on America's Funniest Home Videos a few years ago (as I've mentioned to you at least a bajillion times because sadly, that is my biggest claim to fame) but Sara really takes it up a notch. Or 12. So if you're looking for a little vay-cay from wiping bottoms, blowing noses, cleaning pukey sheets, or whatever! find your refuge at Sara's blog and know she is living the awesome life for mommies everywhere. Oh! And follow her tweets too- you'll feel so plugged in and full of interesting information at the next office party (or playdate, or whatever).
Sara is a celebrity news blogger with two boys, so she runs the show at home and then what?! Gets to travel to press junkets, meet big stars and blog about it!! Talk about your dream job, right? Motherhood to Hollywood is her personal blog about her day-to-day life with the occasional giant, big-screen name dropped in (or photo! When you swing by, be sure to check out her "Famous Photos" page. So cool). It's a funny blog and always interesting.
Having her as a bloggy friend has made me feel a little famous, I'm not going to lie. I mean, yes, my new nephew-dog WAS on America's Funniest Home Videos a few years ago (as I've mentioned to you at least a bajillion times because sadly, that is my biggest claim to fame) but Sara really takes it up a notch. Or 12. So if you're looking for a little vay-cay from wiping bottoms, blowing noses, cleaning pukey sheets, or whatever! find your refuge at Sara's blog and know she is living the awesome life for mommies everywhere. Oh! And follow her tweets too- you'll feel so plugged in and full of interesting information at the next office party (or playdate, or whatever).
Friday, January 28, 2011
Safety First!
I have a new cause. I am just passionate enough about it to organize bake sales, 5Ks, lemonade stands, wear a ribbon, and go door to door selling candy bars. Watch below and prepare to be inspired:
Haha! Did you really think I had a new cause? No, no- I still don't care about anything or anyone*. It was just a funny commercial! A little risque for my blog, I know, but it's Friday and things are crazy at Ad Bits Central. Speaking of crazy, I came across some crazy Michigan laws (that are NOT enforced, so please- still come visit!) If you're interested in a little MI culture read on!
~ A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.
~ Cars may not be sold on Sunday.
~ Putt-putt golf courses must close by 1:00 AM. (Detroit only- suckas! We putt all night and day in Lansing!)
~ Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited. (Even if one is super frustrated she can't seem to learn all the "Bottoms Up" lyrics)
~ It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. (Maybe because the ring makes it easier to grab? That one actually makes good sense).
Have a great Friday Friends! May your breath be safe and your weekend oddly illegal.
*Are you a new reader? This is not actually true- that was an attempt at funny. Either way, I guess you're probably moving quickly away from the follow button, huh?
Haha! Did you really think I had a new cause? No, no- I still don't care about anything or anyone*. It was just a funny commercial! A little risque for my blog, I know, but it's Friday and things are crazy at Ad Bits Central. Speaking of crazy, I came across some crazy Michigan laws (that are NOT enforced, so please- still come visit!) If you're interested in a little MI culture read on!
~ A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.
~ Cars may not be sold on Sunday.
~ Putt-putt golf courses must close by 1:00 AM. (Detroit only- suckas! We putt all night and day in Lansing!)
~ Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited. (Even if one is super frustrated she can't seem to learn all the "Bottoms Up" lyrics)
~ It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. (Maybe because the ring makes it easier to grab? That one actually makes good sense).
Have a great Friday Friends! May your breath be safe and your weekend oddly illegal.
*Are you a new reader? This is not actually true- that was an attempt at funny. Either way, I guess you're probably moving quickly away from the follow button, huh?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
WWW Wednesday
Whine: Oh,I have a whine alright! I already wrote this post and it was gobbled up!!! Augh! Anyway, my original whine was that the teeny-weeny keys on my phone made it practically impossible to blog as I waited for my mom outside Meijers. My new whine totally overrides that whine. Just when you think you have it bad with your tiny buttons, something like a disappearing post happens to put things in perspective.
Wish: I wish I knew all the words to "Bottoms Up". I think people would be very impressed and I know I would feel very pleased with myself. I also wish my cell phone buttons were bigger (see above whine).
Woo-hoo! I had such a fun day! My mom and I took the girls to a dinosaur exhibit (did you know the T-Rex was not the largest meat-eating dino as everybody originally thought? It was the Giganotasaurus.(sp?)) One of the tour guides lost a kid on a field trip (and found him after a bit) but I'd like to give a big woo-hoo because I knew where my kids were at all times (for once). Also, I got my hair cut yesterday and I am 10 lbs lighter now and plan to have a bajillion dollars in shampoo savings by the end of 2011. Woo-hoo!
Let me just say, I think this very spider has been in my home:
Wish: I wish I knew all the words to "Bottoms Up". I think people would be very impressed and I know I would feel very pleased with myself. I also wish my cell phone buttons were bigger (see above whine).
Woo-hoo! I had such a fun day! My mom and I took the girls to a dinosaur exhibit (did you know the T-Rex was not the largest meat-eating dino as everybody originally thought? It was the Giganotasaurus.(sp?)) One of the tour guides lost a kid on a field trip (and found him after a bit) but I'd like to give a big woo-hoo because I knew where my kids were at all times (for once). Also, I got my hair cut yesterday and I am 10 lbs lighter now and plan to have a bajillion dollars in shampoo savings by the end of 2011. Woo-hoo!
Let me just say, I think this very spider has been in my home:
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Going to TarGet Stuff
My kids can never see this commercial. You know they'd be all over this like, well. Like peanut butter on bread.
How much do we love this little kid?! Little redheads have a special place in my heart of course, but then throw in a little chub and the sweetness of this kid? Complete adoration! Of course it helps that I don't have to clean up his mess. Thank you Carla at Truth or Dairy for bringing this fabulous commercial to my attention!
Incidentally, I went to Target last night in a bold move (I don't typically take the girls out after dinner because we have a strict schedule of playing, bathing, and reading), but what the hey?! Spontaneity, thy name is Jules! Of course I lived to regret it because:
a) it took a solid 15 minutes to bundle us all up (14 blessed degrees yesterday!)
b) my labyrinth of a driveway is nearly impossible to back out of in the dark. I ran over every little stick Jim put up to help guide me out. Oops.
c) taking both kids to the store is so tricky; A wants to stand up in the front of the cart, giving passers-by reason to judge me (she squirms out of the little strap, ok!?) and Molly of course wants "stuff", but luckily was mollified (haha!) by some old Fruit Loops from the depths of my purse.
d) our entire nighttime schedule was off. There was no wind-down time. It was, "Get in the house! Grab your toothbrush! Put on your jammies! Let's move people, we're pushing 8:00 here!"
I hope your Tuesday is fabulous friends and may you have enough bread that you don't have to eat your PBJ in Target kid fashion.
How much do we love this little kid?! Little redheads have a special place in my heart of course, but then throw in a little chub and the sweetness of this kid? Complete adoration! Of course it helps that I don't have to clean up his mess. Thank you Carla at Truth or Dairy for bringing this fabulous commercial to my attention!
Incidentally, I went to Target last night in a bold move (I don't typically take the girls out after dinner because we have a strict schedule of playing, bathing, and reading), but what the hey?! Spontaneity, thy name is Jules! Of course I lived to regret it because:
a) it took a solid 15 minutes to bundle us all up (14 blessed degrees yesterday!)
b) my labyrinth of a driveway is nearly impossible to back out of in the dark. I ran over every little stick Jim put up to help guide me out. Oops.
c) taking both kids to the store is so tricky; A wants to stand up in the front of the cart, giving passers-by reason to judge me (she squirms out of the little strap, ok!?) and Molly of course wants "stuff", but luckily was mollified (haha!) by some old Fruit Loops from the depths of my purse.
d) our entire nighttime schedule was off. There was no wind-down time. It was, "Get in the house! Grab your toothbrush! Put on your jammies! Let's move people, we're pushing 8:00 here!"
I hope your Tuesday is fabulous friends and may you have enough bread that you don't have to eat your PBJ in Target kid fashion.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Xtreme Ad Bits!
I am not a BMXer, skate boarder, or snowboarder (although there was a time I dominated the bunny hill with my mad snowboarding skillz). But you know what I am? An Xtreme fan of Shaun White. As you probably already gathered from the bajillion other times I've blogged about him. So you can imagine my delight when I saw this commercial the other day:
I would have altered a mere two words here. Instead of "hair" they should have used "flo". Much Xtremeier. Also, instead of "whatever" how about "whatevs"? Whatevs is the new whatever. It sounds funnier and is less annoying (click here to read more about annoying words and terms. Personally, I find the word "moist" to be the most annoying word in the English language, but whatever!)
If the whole Xtreme world of sports is into talking animals I may have missed my calling. I really should get back atop the old bunny bump. Or at least cozy up on my couch with some hot chocolate and snacks (incidentally, "snack" happens to be my favorite word in the English language) to watch the Winter X Games for more hilarious commercials like this one:
I would have altered a mere two words here. Instead of "hair" they should have used "flo". Much Xtremeier. Also, instead of "whatever" how about "whatevs"? Whatevs is the new whatever. It sounds funnier and is less annoying (click here to read more about annoying words and terms. Personally, I find the word "moist" to be the most annoying word in the English language, but whatever!)
If the whole Xtreme world of sports is into talking animals I may have missed my calling. I really should get back atop the old bunny bump. Or at least cozy up on my couch with some hot chocolate and snacks (incidentally, "snack" happens to be my favorite word in the English language) to watch the Winter X Games for more hilarious commercials like this one:
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Have You Seen Yer Glasses?
Senior citizens are the new IT thing, am I right?! First Geico's super fly grandpa (see yesterday's post) rocks it out, and now Lens Crafter touts Arnie the stylish ladies' man. Love this. I hope I'm so cool someday. Some far-off, faraway, practically impossible to imagine it's so distant, day. Never mind that the other day Molly asked me why I have lines on my face (an inquiry for which she received a time-out*).
But someday, in a bajillion years, when Molly's face is wrinkly (and I am laughing at her mercilessly) I hope I am every bit as cool as Arnie. It's a senior citiSIN how rad he is!
*I didn't REALLY give Molly a time-out for that you guys! I actually laughed out loud (and cried inwardly). I would never punish my kid for such a thing. Although, if she got a random, unrelated time-out for some teeny-tiny offense later that day... then I'm sure it was just that. Unrelated.
But someday, in a bajillion years, when Molly's face is wrinkly (and I am laughing at her mercilessly) I hope I am every bit as cool as Arnie. It's a senior citiSIN how rad he is!
*I didn't REALLY give Molly a time-out for that you guys! I actually laughed out loud (and cried inwardly). I would never punish my kid for such a thing. Although, if she got a random, unrelated time-out for some teeny-tiny offense later that day... then I'm sure it was just that. Unrelated.
Friday, January 21, 2011
I Used To Be A Renegade
Huey Lewis spoke the truth. It really IS hip to be square. First we had the swagger wagon parents (see below if you are unfamiliar with them. You will be sad they're just now coming into your life) and now we've got the Geico grandpa who is soooo hip! And not the prosthetic kind, although that may certainly apply here too.
Some (fashionably?) square things I do? Play Boggle, own a shirt with a picture of my dog on it, quote Huey Lewis and the News, watch the Disney channel, and french cuff my jeans. Just kidding about that last one. I also tell lame jokes. But you already knew that. Here are a ton of videos starting with the Geico grandpa, a commercial I borrowed from my friend Margi at The Maverick Crafter who had it on her blog yesterday.
What hip and square things do you do?
Some (fashionably?) square things I do? Play Boggle, own a shirt with a picture of my dog on it, quote Huey Lewis and the News, watch the Disney channel, and french cuff my jeans. Just kidding about that last one. I also tell lame jokes. But you already knew that. Here are a ton of videos starting with the Geico grandpa, a commercial I borrowed from my friend Margi at The Maverick Crafter who had it on her blog yesterday.
What hip and square things do you do?
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
WWW Wednesday
Whine: Jim was not home last night and it was scary. I heard a noise in the garage after the girls went to bed and was convinced we were all about to be murdered. I looked into the backyard... footprints! Were they Jim's from the day before? I couldn't tell. I plugged 911 into my phone and kept my finger on the dial button, grabbed my biggest knife and 20 minutes later (when I finally worked up the nerve) I opened the door. Nothing. Except my relief, which filled the entire garage, house, and state of Michigan. We're storing some stuff for my brother and I think some of it just shifted. But killers, beware! I'm keeping that knife extra sharp. But it's for my use only, ok?
Wish: I wish dinosaurs' names weren't so hard to pronounce! M is all about dinos these days and her books are making a foolasaurus out of me! What's more? We have no chocolate in the house! No chocolate in the house! (I think that's just horrific enough to mention twice). So that's my big wish. For chocolate. The problem with not letting chocolate in the house is that then there's no chocolate in the house. Let's talk woo-hoos before I drop this blog and run coatless and shoeless three miles to the store (yes, I have a car but I'm not in my right mind at the moment- nothing a little chocolate couldn't cure).
Woo-hoo! Just moving from one wedding to another! I'm in another wedding at the end of April and the bride emailed a picture of the bridesmaid dresses yesterday. They. Are. Beautiful! So, so pretty. Woo-hoo! I'm nearly caught up on laundry, the house is full of fun today (wonderful friends visited this morning and more wonderful friends are visiting this afternoon!) And Jane Lynch has a new commercial out to boot! Woo-hoo!
Wish: I wish dinosaurs' names weren't so hard to pronounce! M is all about dinos these days and her books are making a foolasaurus out of me! What's more? We have no chocolate in the house! No chocolate in the house! (I think that's just horrific enough to mention twice). So that's my big wish. For chocolate. The problem with not letting chocolate in the house is that then there's no chocolate in the house. Let's talk woo-hoos before I drop this blog and run coatless and shoeless three miles to the store (yes, I have a car but I'm not in my right mind at the moment- nothing a little chocolate couldn't cure).
Woo-hoo! Just moving from one wedding to another! I'm in another wedding at the end of April and the bride emailed a picture of the bridesmaid dresses yesterday. They. Are. Beautiful! So, so pretty. Woo-hoo! I'm nearly caught up on laundry, the house is full of fun today (wonderful friends visited this morning and more wonderful friends are visiting this afternoon!) And Jane Lynch has a new commercial out to boot! Woo-hoo!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
He Phils My Heart
My love for Kelly Ripa is second only to my love for Regis Philbin. So you can understand my dismay when I hopped on the elliptical this morning and heard this:
I'm petrified Anderson Cooper or Bryant Gumble* is going to replace Reeg and I will never be able to watch again. Even though Bryant shares my birthday, so I do feel a little kindred spirity toward him. Admittedly, I think the time has come for Regis. Last week when the guys from Jersey Shore were on R kept referring to Snooki as Snoozie. I'm pretty sure he really thought that was her name (which would be ridiculous, right?!). And he totally deserves retirement, I'm just scared this is going to turn into a Drew Carey/The Price Is Right catastrophe (does anyone even watch anymore? Does DC truly care if we spay or neuter our pets? Me thinks not!)
*If you are a fan of Anderson or Bryant, or Eek! if you ARE Anderson or Bryant (or Drew for that matter) my deepest apologies. I don't know what my problem is- I just don't care for them (you). It's just as inexplicable as my dislike for cantaloupe.
I'm petrified Anderson Cooper or Bryant Gumble* is going to replace Reeg and I will never be able to watch again. Even though Bryant shares my birthday, so I do feel a little kindred spirity toward him. Admittedly, I think the time has come for Regis. Last week when the guys from Jersey Shore were on R kept referring to Snooki as Snoozie. I'm pretty sure he really thought that was her name (which would be ridiculous, right?!). And he totally deserves retirement, I'm just scared this is going to turn into a Drew Carey/The Price Is Right catastrophe (does anyone even watch anymore? Does DC truly care if we spay or neuter our pets? Me thinks not!)
*If you are a fan of Anderson or Bryant, or Eek! if you ARE Anderson or Bryant (or Drew for that matter) my deepest apologies. I don't know what my problem is- I just don't care for them (you). It's just as inexplicable as my dislike for cantaloupe.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Smile! You Have Style!
Oops! This post was supposed to go up on Friday... I'm not exactly sure what happened, but here it is if a little late!
~~~~~~~~~~
I'm en route to Wisconsin today (holla Cheeseheads!) so I thought this would be a great opportunity to spread some bloggy love, thanks to Artsy Chaos, who was awesome enough to award me the Stylish Blogger Award. I know! I was totally floored to receive such an honor! So here are the stipulations:
1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award. Thank you Artsy Chaos! You're awesome!
2. Share 7 things about yourself. Ohmygoodness, I don't know how I could possibly come up with 7 things you guys don't already know! But I'll try.
3. Award recently discovered great bloggers. Yes! My favorite part! See below. But let me say this to the awardees: I'm just giving this award to you because it's fun and I think your blogs rock! If you don't want to pass it on, please don't feel any obligation. It's really just my pleasure.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award! Will do.
Seven completely random things I don't think you know, but you may:
~Speaking of may, that's my middle name. May.
~My favorite snack is chips and salsa with a Diet Coke.
~I have a weird, inexplicable sort of crush on Elijah Wood.
~I don't like it when my green beans squeak in my mouth.
~My first pet was a hamster named Splinter (after the rat in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles).
~When I was 19 I walked from Santa Barbara to Malibu. I got bad blisters.
~My first vehicle was a little Ford Ranger. That I totalled 8 months after I got my license.
Edit: I just went back to my other award accepting posts and I guess I already used the middle name thing. Sorry. But the segue works too good for me to go back and change it now.
The moment you've all been waiting for! The winners of the Sylish Blog award... will be announced right after this commercial:
Just call me Ryan Seacrest, right? So for real, here are my picks for the Stylish Blogger award!
Nikki Woo- The Home Guru
Mommy Wears Combat Boots
View From the Shoe
Goofy Mama
Truth or Dairy
Motherhood to Hollywood
~~~~~~~~~~
I'm en route to Wisconsin today (holla Cheeseheads!) so I thought this would be a great opportunity to spread some bloggy love, thanks to Artsy Chaos, who was awesome enough to award me the Stylish Blogger Award. I know! I was totally floored to receive such an honor! So here are the stipulations:
1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award. Thank you Artsy Chaos! You're awesome!
2. Share 7 things about yourself. Ohmygoodness, I don't know how I could possibly come up with 7 things you guys don't already know! But I'll try.
3. Award recently discovered great bloggers. Yes! My favorite part! See below. But let me say this to the awardees: I'm just giving this award to you because it's fun and I think your blogs rock! If you don't want to pass it on, please don't feel any obligation. It's really just my pleasure.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award! Will do.
Seven completely random things I don't think you know, but you may:
~Speaking of may, that's my middle name. May.
~My favorite snack is chips and salsa with a Diet Coke.
~I have a weird, inexplicable sort of crush on Elijah Wood.
~I don't like it when my green beans squeak in my mouth.
~My first pet was a hamster named Splinter (after the rat in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles).
~When I was 19 I walked from Santa Barbara to Malibu. I got bad blisters.
~My first vehicle was a little Ford Ranger. That I totalled 8 months after I got my license.
Edit: I just went back to my other award accepting posts and I guess I already used the middle name thing. Sorry. But the segue works too good for me to go back and change it now.
The moment you've all been waiting for! The winners of the Sylish Blog award... will be announced right after this commercial:
Just call me Ryan Seacrest, right? So for real, here are my picks for the Stylish Blogger award!
Nikki Woo- The Home Guru
Mommy Wears Combat Boots
View From the Shoe
Goofy Mama
Truth or Dairy
Motherhood to Hollywood
Mad Fun in Madison!
A word about the wedding over the weekend. It rocked. Besides my own, it was the most fun wedding I've ever been to. (If you're reading this and I attended your wedding please know yours was a close second!) It was crazy fun in the fullest sense of crazy. For instance:
~M woke up with the flu. Snafu! She bounced back in time to get down the aisle (the minister pointed out she was carrying a basket that could double as a barf holder).
~We forgot a groomsman after the ceremony when we left for pictures. Oops! He hitched a ride and zoomed over; I was thankful it was a guy and not a girl, who undoubtedly would be full of snarky remarks like, "I told you I was just running to the bathroom and not to leave without me! Is there even any alcohol left?!"
~There was a smallish fight. A disgruntled date didn't like a guest dancing with his girlfriend. Seriously disgruntled date? Is this your first wedding? People do tend to dance at these things. Seven punches were thrown (who counted? Not sure.) before the guys calmed down. This proves once again alcohol and testosterone may be key ingredients in the recipe for disaster.
Highlights? The bachelorette party was beacoup fun, my toast at the rehearsal dinner seemed to go ok (they laughed/ they cried, which was my goal of course), and Jim's toast was appropriate (thank you Lord!) and awesome, Mols and the other flower girl sang Jesus Loves Me (the bride and groom did the sing a song with the word "love" in it thing), and people danced danced danced!
Can I just reiterate how very much I love weddings?! I promise a commercial tomorrow, but I'm still in wedding mode today, so you're stuck with a couple pics:
~M woke up with the flu. Snafu! She bounced back in time to get down the aisle (the minister pointed out she was carrying a basket that could double as a barf holder).
~We forgot a groomsman after the ceremony when we left for pictures. Oops! He hitched a ride and zoomed over; I was thankful it was a guy and not a girl, who undoubtedly would be full of snarky remarks like, "I told you I was just running to the bathroom and not to leave without me! Is there even any alcohol left?!"
~There was a smallish fight. A disgruntled date didn't like a guest dancing with his girlfriend. Seriously disgruntled date? Is this your first wedding? People do tend to dance at these things. Seven punches were thrown (who counted? Not sure.) before the guys calmed down. This proves once again alcohol and testosterone may be key ingredients in the recipe for disaster.
Highlights? The bachelorette party was beacoup fun, my toast at the rehearsal dinner seemed to go ok (they laughed/ they cried, which was my goal of course), and Jim's toast was appropriate (thank you Lord!) and awesome, Mols and the other flower girl sang Jesus Loves Me (the bride and groom did the sing a song with the word "love" in it thing), and people danced danced danced!
Can I just reiterate how very much I love weddings?! I promise a commercial tomorrow, but I'm still in wedding mode today, so you're stuck with a couple pics:
 |
| M is on the right. You can't even tell she was puking and having horrible diarrhea earlier that day. |
 |
| My brother and sister and I. Two-thirds of us are married now! |
 |
| My little family. |
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Shark Bits
Ha! In all my commercial-with-talking-animals days I have never seen a chatty shark! I like it. Of course, Snickers could do a whole ad campaign around mice and mailboxes and I'd still adore every advertising mastermind on Snickers' payroll.
Even if I did have to endure a few shark nibbles, I'd be happy to mow down a couple Snickers. You know, for science. For the fun of it, I Googled some shark jokes (I know what you're thinking and yes, it is your lucky day!):
What is the average shark's favorite movie? Shark Shank Redemption
Why do sharks live in the ocean and not the sky? The sky is Jet territory
Did you hear about the aquarium owner? His shark was worse than his pike
What did the shark say when something radical (!) happened: JAWESOME!
What did the shark plead in the murder case? Not gill-ty!
You're welcome!
Even if I did have to endure a few shark nibbles, I'd be happy to mow down a couple Snickers. You know, for science. For the fun of it, I Googled some shark jokes (I know what you're thinking and yes, it is your lucky day!):
What is the average shark's favorite movie? Shark Shank Redemption
Why do sharks live in the ocean and not the sky? The sky is Jet territory
Did you hear about the aquarium owner? His shark was worse than his pike
What did the shark say when something radical (!) happened: JAWESOME!
What did the shark plead in the murder case? Not gill-ty!
You're welcome!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
WWW Wednesdays
Whine: My dog's fur is crusty from the mac and cheese A dropped on her a couple days ago. I got it out as best as I could, but it was extra cheesy so... I can see I'm going to have to get this dog in the tub. I hate wet dog smell and she likes to dry herself off on my couches. Whine.
Wish: That Saturday is a nice day for a white wedding. As in lots of snow. We're headed to Wisconsin for my brother's Big Day, so fingers crossed the drive is uneventful (and the girls can stay entertained in the car), and that I don't spit or something when I'm giving my toast, that M makes it down the aisle and doesn't interrupt the ceremony with any un-romantic announcements like, "I gotta POOP!" Fingers crossed guests have decent flights, that my hair turns out ok (and I'm not still pulling bobby pins out three months from now), that Jim's toast goes well (he won't practice on me so I have no idea what to expect!), and that my signature move (the sprinkler) is as big a hit as always on the dance floor.
Woo-hoo! My girlfriend took M and her daughter sledding this afternoon so I have the whole house to myself! Well, except for Adrienne. And the dog. But both are napping. I packed up for our Wisconsin wedding weekend, cleaned my stovetop, and now I may or may not be watching The Bold and the Beautiful (I told you I was in the mood for smut!)
I pre-wrote a couple posts for this weekend while I'm off wedding it up, so be sure to swing by and check things out.
Love this ad; I hope my brother and his bride still adore each other through every fashion disaster over the years.
Wish: That Saturday is a nice day for a white wedding. As in lots of snow. We're headed to Wisconsin for my brother's Big Day, so fingers crossed the drive is uneventful (and the girls can stay entertained in the car), and that I don't spit or something when I'm giving my toast, that M makes it down the aisle and doesn't interrupt the ceremony with any un-romantic announcements like, "I gotta POOP!" Fingers crossed guests have decent flights, that my hair turns out ok (and I'm not still pulling bobby pins out three months from now), that Jim's toast goes well (he won't practice on me so I have no idea what to expect!), and that my signature move (the sprinkler) is as big a hit as always on the dance floor.
Woo-hoo! My girlfriend took M and her daughter sledding this afternoon so I have the whole house to myself! Well, except for Adrienne. And the dog. But both are napping. I packed up for our Wisconsin wedding weekend, cleaned my stovetop, and now I may or may not be watching The Bold and the Beautiful (I told you I was in the mood for smut!)
I pre-wrote a couple posts for this weekend while I'm off wedding it up, so be sure to swing by and check things out.
Love this ad; I hope my brother and his bride still adore each other through every fashion disaster over the years.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Here's Luckin' At You
Happy 1/11/11!! I'm the kind of girl who makes wishes every time I catch a digital clock boasting an 11:11 time, so I am super pumped about today. I don't know that it's been a particularly lucky day for me, but I've certainly been productive so that counts for something right?
I used to be much more superstitious- touching metal and raising my feet to drive over railroad tracks, running races with my lucky ponytail holder, holding my breath going past graveyards, a weird thing about making a tiny "19" on my reports in school, etc. But 11:11 is the only thing that stuck (although I still reeaaaally miss my lucky ponytail holder). According to many superstitions I'm doomed anyway. It seems redheads are not great luck. Here are just a few misconceptions I've heard of:
~ If a redhead is the first person to cross your home's threshold at New Year's, you'll have a lousy year. (Is that why I didn't get any New Year's party invites this year!? Wussies!)
~ It's bad luck to have the shadow of a redhead fall on you.
~ It's bad luck to see a white horse and then a redhead. (Equestrians, beware!)
Weird, right? Of course, for every red-hair-means-bad-luck rule, there's a red-hair-is-great-luck rule to negate it. So I guess it all evens out in the end. Which is why I'm sticking with the color indifferent make-a-wish at 11:11 dealio.
I love this McDonald's commercial with the superstitious smackdown. And there's another commercial after that, just for luck.
I used to be much more superstitious- touching metal and raising my feet to drive over railroad tracks, running races with my lucky ponytail holder, holding my breath going past graveyards, a weird thing about making a tiny "19" on my reports in school, etc. But 11:11 is the only thing that stuck (although I still reeaaaally miss my lucky ponytail holder). According to many superstitions I'm doomed anyway. It seems redheads are not great luck. Here are just a few misconceptions I've heard of:
~ If a redhead is the first person to cross your home's threshold at New Year's, you'll have a lousy year. (Is that why I didn't get any New Year's party invites this year!? Wussies!)
~ It's bad luck to have the shadow of a redhead fall on you.
~ It's bad luck to see a white horse and then a redhead. (Equestrians, beware!)
Weird, right? Of course, for every red-hair-means-bad-luck rule, there's a red-hair-is-great-luck rule to negate it. So I guess it all evens out in the end. Which is why I'm sticking with the color indifferent make-a-wish at 11:11 dealio.
I love this McDonald's commercial with the superstitious smackdown. And there's another commercial after that, just for luck.
Monday, January 10, 2011
I Need Smutin' To Read
Know what I'm in the mood for? Some smut. Isn't it time for another Sookie Stackhouse novel to come out? Another Stephanie Plum saga? Maybe I should just go buy a Cosmo. Know what I mean? Isn't it just that time of year for some trashy reads? According to Regis and Kelly the most depressed day of the year is January 17, which we are quickly approaching and I feel like the best way for me to battle the mid-winter blues is to invest in some mindless reading. Any suggestions?
For Christmas I received a Kindle and I am completely enamored with it (even though I already lost my blessed charger). Kindles are great for lots of things not the least of which is reading embarrassing, mindless books incognito. Sitting on a plane reading Sizzling Sixteen by Janet Evanovich in hard cover for the world to see is more than mildly embarrassing. Reading Sizzling Sixteen on a plane with your Kindle? Sneaky and magnificent! For all the other passengers know I'm doing my Bible study or re-reading The Brothers Karmazov.
In honor of trashy novels everywhere, here is a Fabio commercial to start your week. He is also in a Toyota commercial, which is not on YouTube yet, but if you're lucky (???) maybe you'll catch it on your own tube.
For Christmas I received a Kindle and I am completely enamored with it (even though I already lost my blessed charger). Kindles are great for lots of things not the least of which is reading embarrassing, mindless books incognito. Sitting on a plane reading Sizzling Sixteen by Janet Evanovich in hard cover for the world to see is more than mildly embarrassing. Reading Sizzling Sixteen on a plane with your Kindle? Sneaky and magnificent! For all the other passengers know I'm doing my Bible study or re-reading The Brothers Karmazov.
In honor of trashy novels everywhere, here is a Fabio commercial to start your week. He is also in a Toyota commercial, which is not on YouTube yet, but if you're lucky (???) maybe you'll catch it on your own tube.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Bombs On Ice
We had such a busy day! But I had to toss up a quick post to say hi, hope you're having a great weekend AND to share two interesting things with you.
1. Jim read yesterday's post (check it out here) and told me a couple weeks ago somebody put a bomb in our neighbor's mailbox. Yes! You read that right! Not a bomb of the tick-tock-boom! variety but some gunpowder filled contraption. But we're splitting hairs here. If somebody so much as put a scrap piece of paper with "BOM" written on it I'd be... well, calling the bomb squad. I think we can all agree my phobia is founded and legit and it's time for a new mail acquiring system.
2. All right. Stop. Collaborate and listen. Vanilla Ice is going to have a show on HGTV. Whaaaat? Will he rock the network like a vandal? I truly thought after his stint on The Surreal Life he was fading into obscurity for good. This DIY project must have grabbed ahold of him tightly. One episode is called Nice Nice Landscaping. You know I love a pun, but anything less than the best is a felony. Here's a link for more details if you're still crushing on good ole Robert Van Winkle. Maybe I'll tune in when Joey McIntyre gets his own show. Oo! Or Jared Leto! Word to your mother.
1. Jim read yesterday's post (check it out here) and told me a couple weeks ago somebody put a bomb in our neighbor's mailbox. Yes! You read that right! Not a bomb of the tick-tock-boom! variety but some gunpowder filled contraption. But we're splitting hairs here. If somebody so much as put a scrap piece of paper with "BOM" written on it I'd be... well, calling the bomb squad. I think we can all agree my phobia is founded and legit and it's time for a new mail acquiring system.
2. All right. Stop. Collaborate and listen. Vanilla Ice is going to have a show on HGTV. Whaaaat? Will he rock the network like a vandal? I truly thought after his stint on The Surreal Life he was fading into obscurity for good. This DIY project must have grabbed ahold of him tightly. One episode is called Nice Nice Landscaping. You know I love a pun, but anything less than the best is a felony. Here's a link for more details if you're still crushing on good ole Robert Van Winkle. Maybe I'll tune in when Joey McIntyre gets his own show. Oo! Or Jared Leto! Word to your mother.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Swans, Mail, and Other Freaky Topics
A friend of mine wants to see Black Swan. I want her to see it too and then tell me how it ends. Of course, I thought the same thing about The Orphan, and between the flippin' previews that are still burned into my brain and the brief synopsis my sister gave me, I continue to be haunted by that movie (which came out almost 2 years ago!) when I am unfortunate enough to wake mid-night. Apparently I haven't learned my lesson though because I'm already trying to get somebody to give me a Black Swan spoiler.
Maybe I've mentioned that I also have a little fear of getting the mail? It's not the crossing of my busy road or the pile of bills undoubtedly awaiting me as much as what the HECK?! People can stick anything in those little black boxes (or fishes or gingerbread houses or what have you)! There is nothing to stop some freak from putting a not-a-tree limb in there (in my (overactive?) imagination it's always a hand) or a host of bugs (box elders?) or a murder weapon. And don't even get me started on mail slots in the front door. I'm pretty sure those would accommodate a grenade nicely.
Here is just another reason getting the mail is scary (don't watch if you're creeped out by dolls, clowns, moustaches, red hair, or any combination thereof).
Maybe I've mentioned that I also have a little fear of getting the mail? It's not the crossing of my busy road or the pile of bills undoubtedly awaiting me as much as what the HECK?! People can stick anything in those little black boxes (or fishes or gingerbread houses or what have you)! There is nothing to stop some freak from putting a not-a-tree limb in there (in my (overactive?) imagination it's always a hand) or a host of bugs (box elders?) or a murder weapon. And don't even get me started on mail slots in the front door. I'm pretty sure those would accommodate a grenade nicely.
Here is just another reason getting the mail is scary (don't watch if you're creeped out by dolls, clowns, moustaches, red hair, or any combination thereof).
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
WWW Wednesday
Whine: Last weekend I was shopping around in a cute little store when Molly started that familiar little dance, "I have to go potty" she said crossing her legs. I pulled her up to the storefront and asked the lady for the restroom please. She replied, "we don't have a public one. There's one across the street at Roast and Toast". I smiled politely and dragged Molly to the bathroom across the street. But I was fuming. Shopowners, I understand if you don't want adults using your restroom. That's fine. Whatevs. But three year olds should have VIP passes to any bathroom in the world. Unfortunately for this shop, I'm just petty enough to never buy anything there again. Petty with a capital Pee.
Wish: I wish I would have won the $335 million jackpot last night. That would have been pretty miraculous since I didn't buy a ticket though so let's think of a less ridiculous wish. I wish I would not have given my girls super slippery orange Jello at lunch time. Both are running around shirtless now as their shirts sit soaking.
Woo-hoo! My house is starting to return to some kind of (warped) normalcy again! Christmas decorations are stashed, tree is sitting on our pond (we know Spring has arrived every year when the tree falls through), and toys are now assembled and laying all over (instead of laying in intimidating little pieces all over, just daring me to make sense of them all). What I'm trying to say is, my house is still a chaotic mess, but it's a new 2011 mess and I like it. Nobody could ever accuse my house of not looking lived-in.
What are your dubs today? Do you wish for a commercial starring a scarf-wearing ape? Your wish is my command!
Wish: I wish I would have won the $335 million jackpot last night. That would have been pretty miraculous since I didn't buy a ticket though so let's think of a less ridiculous wish. I wish I would not have given my girls super slippery orange Jello at lunch time. Both are running around shirtless now as their shirts sit soaking.
Woo-hoo! My house is starting to return to some kind of (warped) normalcy again! Christmas decorations are stashed, tree is sitting on our pond (we know Spring has arrived every year when the tree falls through), and toys are now assembled and laying all over (instead of laying in intimidating little pieces all over, just daring me to make sense of them all). What I'm trying to say is, my house is still a chaotic mess, but it's a new 2011 mess and I like it. Nobody could ever accuse my house of not looking lived-in.
What are your dubs today? Do you wish for a commercial starring a scarf-wearing ape? Your wish is my command!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Out With the Tide?
Molly was back in school today. I missed her this morning, but I have to admit, grocery shopping with one less kid is like jogging without a pack of wild dogs chasing me. Just a lot less stressful. She got home a bit ago and not only are her pants on backwards (how did I miss that this morning?! I guess that's what I get for letting her dress herself), but she was bursting with excitement.
M: "Look at my shell! I got a seashell!" (sure enough, she pulls a lovely seashell out of her backpack)
Me: "Awesome! Where did you get that?"
M: "The beach."
Me (looking outside at the blizzard whizzing past my window): "Did you have a pretend beach at school?"
M: "No, Evan went to the beach and brought me a seashell. He did not bring one for Monique." Then she ran upstairs to put her seashell in her closet where she keeps her most treasured treasures.
Is my daughter caught up in some kiddie love triangle? It just makes me wish, once again, I could be a fly on the preschool wall. I'm just sayin' though, if Mols gets to be the age of the girlie in this Tide ad and is still coming home with her pants on backwards? There's gonna be trouble.
So I have to ask- what do you guys think of this commercial? Harmless? Or not so much?
Also, are you just dying to know if I grew a pair and watched Pretty Little Liars last night? The answer is on Twitter! You can follow me at AdBitsJules! (Sneaky, right?)
M: "Look at my shell! I got a seashell!" (sure enough, she pulls a lovely seashell out of her backpack)
Me: "Awesome! Where did you get that?"
M: "The beach."
Me (looking outside at the blizzard whizzing past my window): "Did you have a pretend beach at school?"
M: "No, Evan went to the beach and brought me a seashell. He did not bring one for Monique." Then she ran upstairs to put her seashell in her closet where she keeps her most treasured treasures.
Is my daughter caught up in some kiddie love triangle? It just makes me wish, once again, I could be a fly on the preschool wall. I'm just sayin' though, if Mols gets to be the age of the girlie in this Tide ad and is still coming home with her pants on backwards? There's gonna be trouble.
So I have to ask- what do you guys think of this commercial? Harmless? Or not so much?
Also, are you just dying to know if I grew a pair and watched Pretty Little Liars last night? The answer is on Twitter! You can follow me at AdBitsJules! (Sneaky, right?)
Monday, January 3, 2011
It's a Dog Eat Carrot World
It turns out I am not any braver in 2011 than I was in 2010. Pretty Little Liars starts its new season tonight and the previews already have me wetting the couch (because I'm too scared to get up and brave the bathroom. When I walk in, the door makes the shower curtain move, convincing me somebody is in the shower waiting to kill me at my most vulnerable toilet moment). On the other hand, I really, really want to know what happens this season. What is a scaredy-pants to do?
Getting braver was not one of my New Years Resolutions. I didn't exactly make any specific resolutions. Weight-wise I just try year-round not to get too... well, round. However, I am resolving to help my dog lose a couple Elle Bees. She is being fed the "healthy weight" version of her food (I'm sure it's delicious!), I'm putting her on the treadmill daily (um, it's COLD outside. When it gets above freezing again maybe we'll venture down the road), and I'm brushing at least a pound of fur off her daily (wouldn't it rock if we could shave a pound of hair off our legs daily?!)*
So that's the resolution I made. To better someone who's not me. Are any of you forcing a resolution on somebody? It's fun! Allie will be wearing her skinny jeans in no time:
*On second thought, that probably wouldn't rock as much as I originally thought. That's actually very gross.
Getting braver was not one of my New Years Resolutions. I didn't exactly make any specific resolutions. Weight-wise I just try year-round not to get too... well, round. However, I am resolving to help my dog lose a couple Elle Bees. She is being fed the "healthy weight" version of her food (I'm sure it's delicious!), I'm putting her on the treadmill daily (um, it's COLD outside. When it gets above freezing again maybe we'll venture down the road), and I'm brushing at least a pound of fur off her daily (wouldn't it rock if we could shave a pound of hair off our legs daily?!)*
So that's the resolution I made. To better someone who's not me. Are any of you forcing a resolution on somebody? It's fun! Allie will be wearing her skinny jeans in no time:
*On second thought, that probably wouldn't rock as much as I originally thought. That's actually very gross.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Talledaga Nights II
A year plus later I still love me some Will Ferrell. And on occasion, yes, some Shake and Bake. Hope the second day of our New Year is awesome for you!
~~~~
Talledaga Nights (first posted 9/7/09)
Yesterday I caught a bit of Talledega Nights on TV. There were enough commercials in the actual movie to supply me with blog material for a year. I've seen the movie before (in the theater believe it or not!) but I was taking a pregnancy test the next morning and was pretty sure I was knocked up so I concentrated on the big screen not at all. (Molly was born T minus 36 weeks later). But I digress. One of my favorite parts of the movie is the dinner scene; the whole family sitting down to a delicious meal of Dominoes, Taco Bell, KFC, etc. Only Peyton Manning has endorsed more products! And of course Will Ferrell's character drives the Wonderbread car. But what company gets the most bang for their buck? Shake and Bake baby! The best "placement" was a product we don't even see! I wish I knew Shake and Bake's involvement in the making of the movie. How does that work? Did the producers contact them? Did the conversation go something like this?
Producers: "We'd like to feature your product in our new movie."
S & B: "Really? You want to feature Shake and Bake? The scrumptious chicken coating?"
Producers: "Yes. It will cost you 5 million dollars for the product placement."
S & B: "Um. This is awkward. We only bring in $25,000 a year."
Producers: "Huh. Is that right?" (muffled talk in the background) "Well, for $2,000 we'll just mention the product a few times but nobody will actually see any Shake and Bake chicken."
S & B: "Did you know we also offer Shake and Bake for pork now?"
Producers:"Tell you what. Send a few boxes of your product over to the set and we'll just work it into the movie free of charge."
S & B: "Deal."
Before you watch, know there is swearing and making out ahead. Scoot kiddos!
~~~~
Talledaga Nights (first posted 9/7/09)
Yesterday I caught a bit of Talledega Nights on TV. There were enough commercials in the actual movie to supply me with blog material for a year. I've seen the movie before (in the theater believe it or not!) but I was taking a pregnancy test the next morning and was pretty sure I was knocked up so I concentrated on the big screen not at all. (Molly was born T minus 36 weeks later). But I digress. One of my favorite parts of the movie is the dinner scene; the whole family sitting down to a delicious meal of Dominoes, Taco Bell, KFC, etc. Only Peyton Manning has endorsed more products! And of course Will Ferrell's character drives the Wonderbread car. But what company gets the most bang for their buck? Shake and Bake baby! The best "placement" was a product we don't even see! I wish I knew Shake and Bake's involvement in the making of the movie. How does that work? Did the producers contact them? Did the conversation go something like this?
Producers: "We'd like to feature your product in our new movie."
S & B: "Really? You want to feature Shake and Bake? The scrumptious chicken coating?"
Producers: "Yes. It will cost you 5 million dollars for the product placement."
S & B: "Um. This is awkward. We only bring in $25,000 a year."
Producers: "Huh. Is that right?" (muffled talk in the background) "Well, for $2,000 we'll just mention the product a few times but nobody will actually see any Shake and Bake chicken."
S & B: "Did you know we also offer Shake and Bake for pork now?"
Producers:"Tell you what. Send a few boxes of your product over to the set and we'll just work it into the movie free of charge."
S & B: "Deal."
Before you watch, know there is swearing and making out ahead. Scoot kiddos!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year!!
Let's hear it for 2011!!!! Huge year. Some scary things about this year?
~~~~~~
My My My Meijer
Oh Non-Midwesterners. I have to pity you. To not have the convenience, the glory, the 24-hourness that is the Meijer SuperStore. Frantically searching for Static Guard before an early morning meeting? Meijer. Craving gummi bears during an all-night study session? Meijer. Must have shaving cream at 3:00 am? Meijer. Need to find a cop for a scavenger hunt? Meijer. Not to mention the stellar liquor selection, homemade (probably not) chicken fingers and mac 'n' cheese, live lobsters, and smooth rolling carts!
So naturally, Meijer has awesome commercials. Here's one of my favs:
Here's another, although I'm not sure why it's funny. This is how I always eat.
And one more for good measure:
- I'll have my ten year college reunion.
- I think this is the year I'm biting the bullet and getting a minivan.
- It will be my eight year wedding anniversary (will he get itchy?!).
~~~~~~
My My My Meijer
Oh Non-Midwesterners. I have to pity you. To not have the convenience, the glory, the 24-hourness that is the Meijer SuperStore. Frantically searching for Static Guard before an early morning meeting? Meijer. Craving gummi bears during an all-night study session? Meijer. Must have shaving cream at 3:00 am? Meijer. Need to find a cop for a scavenger hunt? Meijer. Not to mention the stellar liquor selection, homemade (probably not) chicken fingers and mac 'n' cheese, live lobsters, and smooth rolling carts!
So naturally, Meijer has awesome commercials. Here's one of my favs:
Here's another, although I'm not sure why it's funny. This is how I always eat.
And one more for good measure:
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