Let me just start by saying my sister-in-law opened her mailbox to find it full of ants the other day. I hate to beat a dead horse by explaining again why I won't get the mail, but let me just refer you to this post or this post. The ant incident is just one more reason Jim will be getting the mail for the remainder of our marriage.
I may be totally unhip and lame, but I saw something in Seattle I was not familiar with. Utilikilts. Have you heard of this fashion phenom? It's a kilt... but utilitier. They have a belt, cargo pockets, and look heavier duty if you ask me. Plus they come in colors and patterns that I think are more timeless and practical than say, your family's tartan. (That's right, I just said army gray is more timeless than a bajillion year old red and black plaid pattern.)
If you have your druthers you might check out the tuxedo Utilikilt, which in my humble opinion, is a (unfashionable) women's skirt. Sorry. But it is.
Are you dying to get a peek at these things? Here's the official (I think) website: http://www.utilikilts.com/ It's really funny. I particularly liked the FAQ section. Also, they have mockumercials on there, which you know I loved! Here's one: